No Greater Love
by R0cketScient1st
Summary: Post-Avengers. Loki returns to Asgard to face his punishment. Will he ever come to terms with his true self? This story takes place mostly inside the mind of Loki; don't read if you're looking for a lot of action! One-shot


_A/N: This is the first time I'm ever letting anyone other than me read one of my stories! I am, therefore, absolutely terrified of readers' reviews. :P However, please do leave (gentle) honest opinions/suggestions so I can get into the swing of things around here!_

**Disclaimer**: I own nothing. And by nothing I mean _nothing._ All these characters belong to Marvel and Norse mythology, and most likely always will.

Loki was finally returning to Asgard.

Granted, the circumstances were not what he would have chosen, but he was home. Inwardly, he scoffed at that thought. Home. This was no home for him. Though he knew every street, every house, every garden as well as he knew the extent of his own power, Asgard had never been his home. He thought it was, once. He believed he belonged with these people, that he was one of them.

Nausea rose in the back of his throat as he pictured himself as he really was: a Jötunn. A hideous blue ice monster. An unbidden shudder spread down his spine into his extremities.

He forced himself to return his thoughts to his immediate surroundings. Thor - his _brother_, hah - was still following him as he was led to his prison cell, bound and, most humiliating of all, muzzled. He commended Thor for his wisdom, though. He hadn't let his sentiment win this time, for once. Thor knew the dangers of the god of mischief's silver tongue, and he would take no chances. Loki swung his piercing gaze around to glare at each captor individually. Odin had spared nothing for Loki's greeting party. A full complement of ten trained soldiers met Thor and him the moment they arrived on Asgard. Odin himself was markedly absent, as was Frigga, his mothe - no, not his mother. She was nothing to him; like all the rest she had done nothing but lie from the moment he entered their family. They couldn't bear what he really was, so they pretended. Well, now he would likely be here for a very, very long time and they would have plenty of time to see his true nature. _Then _Loki would know what they truly thought of him, and despite his intentions to remain aloof he dreaded the day when they finally admitted they hated and despised him for all that he was.

Thor was watching him with a look somewhere between pity and hurt. Darn him. He had left Loki without a minute of peace since his capture, not speaking, but his face spoke volumes that words never could. Loki could not believe Thor's nerve, expecting his "little brother's" grovelling apology!

I am the one who is hurt! I am the victim! Loki shouted to himself, deep within the dark corners of his twisted mind.

The once great Prince of Asgard stumbled as his captors came to a halt. He chided himself for not paying attention to where they were going. One did not achieve and maintain great power without noticing everything around him. Not that it mattered now, but it gave him some semblance of control. Oh, how he missed being in control! That was something Thor could never understand; his...brother...had never felt that burning need to maintain control in every situation, even if it meant resorting to tricks and mischief. Perhaps Thor had never felt out of control, and that is why he did not fear its loss. He needed to think of a new way to refer to Thor. Certainly "brother" would no longer do. Thor had lost that privilege the day he became the ultimate heir to the throne.

Lost in his pondering again, Loki only half noticed when the soldiers removed all his bindings and shoved him most ungracefully into his prison cell and sealed the door shut with magic. Odin-magic. Loki allowed himself a small smirk; they had enough respect for him to use the most powerful magic Asgard had to offer to seal his cell. Perhaps he still had some power after all.

Thor remained after the soldiers had left.

"Brother," he began, slowly, hesitantly.

"Do not call me that!" Loki sneered in response. "As I have told you at least half a dozen times, I AM NOT YOUR BROTHER! I never was; I never shall be. If you can make the effort to get that through your incredibly thick Asgardian skull, I would be most grateful." He smiled thinly.

Thor's features contorted briefly, as though torn between rage and grief, but he resigned himself to a simple nod before he followed after the guards. Loki noted, though, that he hesitated one last time before he disappeared around the corner.

Loki began pacing in his cell, imagining every possible outcome of his captivity. He was nothing if not prepared for any contingency. Unfortunately, every train of thought eventually led to his execution, so he tried to clear his mind and ponder more pleasant things. In the end, maybe it was better to be an always-prince, never-king; one could spend less time watching one's back and caring for subjects and more time scheming and gaining power.

That thought also brought a smile to Loki's pursed lips; those poor, pathetic Midgardians had to settle for such little power. Gaining _real _power, on a galactic scale, was so far beyond their abilities it was downright laughable. They couldn't even fathom ruling the world! Good thing, too, since they would inevitably ruin it.

What was he doing? He was facing a probable execution and all he could think about was petty Midgard! Odin and Frigga would be happy to have their non-son gone. It would undoubtedly make their lives much easier. He wondered how many sleepless nights were endured and painful tears were shed in those first years after his adoption. Why had they thought stealing him from his home - his REAL home - could possibly end any other way? Would they have lied to him his entire life if he had not found out the truth on his own? He shuddered again, only partly because of the dank chill in his cell.

~o0o~

The prison guards fed him, sort of. Once a day, a bowl of soup and a stale piece of bread were thrust between the bars of magic that let anyone in and no one out. No one marked for death, that is, Loki corrected himself as he looked again at the slightly glowing blue brand on his wrist. Several days alone with nothing to see but dirt-stained dungeon walls had allowed his always-active mind to run wild, and he had finally reasoned out what that brand was for. He had wondered the meaning of it when Thor had applied it on Midgard. It was almost pretty, the intricately tangled lines that made a three-pointed knot. Loki stared at it with fascination, much as he had watched those he touched with his Tesseract-powered sceptre. The power to kill was so terribly fascinating, though not quite as fascinating as the power to control someone's mind with his own. He wondered at the fact he felt no fear or anger, simply mild interest.

The food was enough to keep him alive, but not much more. His physical power slowly dwindled, but he had never been a match for Thor anyway. He always relied on magic and mind, the former now restricted by a more powerful magic, but the latter as free as ever. He suspected that was the All-Father's intention: Loki would sit and rot in his cell while his mind analyzed all his actions until he finally came to a place of remorse and penitence. Odin would have no such pleasure, not after the pain he had caused Loki. He had _loved _the All-Father, even _worshiped _him. And it had all been a lie. He didn't blame Thor as much. He hadn't known Loki's true identity and could hardly be blamed for treating him as a brother. Now that he knew, though, Loki could not understand Thor's continued care and, dare he say, love. No, he did not deserve Thor's love and he found it rather distasteful. All Loki wanted was respect and recognition. Both he had achieved. He wrote off the fact that he felt unfulfilled to the predicament he was currently in, with execution looming any day now. This time, escape would be impossible. Truth be told, he didn't really want to escape. He wanted the whole world to watch his stoic death and mourn the loss of such a promising young man. He wanted them to see the pride he held onto even as he breathed his last and wonder that he could be so powerful, so brave. Maybe they would despise him less after that. It wouldn't matter then, but it was a comforting notion nonetheless.

Thor visited him daily, but Loki would not speak to him. Sometimes, Thor wept. Sometimes he shouted and pounded on the bars, informing Loki of what he already knew: that he was a heartless, cruel man who deserved every bit of what he was getting. Loki preferred those days, so he could wallow in self-pity. He hated when Thor made him feel guilty. He did it so easily, too, with his sad eyes and pouting mouth. It was disgusting. Being from Jotunheim was clearly superior, if _that _were the alternative.

Loki lost track of time. He didn't sleep much, choosing to spend his last days engaged in mind games that would do him little good but provided almost endless amusement. He would imagine ways to kill insects, starting by pulling off one wing at a time and moving to the legs. Then he would reassemble it and repeat the process, this time beginning by gently smashing the eyes before slitting it open with a tiny knife...and on and on it went, from insects to birds to lions to Odin himself. He wasn't entirely sure why he always picked Odin as the object of his wrath, but he suspected it was because Odin had betrayed him the most. It was Odin he grew up wanting to become, Odin who had taught him all those lessons that eventually allowed him to gain such great power, and Odin who had the ultimate power to crush Loki like so many ants in just a single moment of truth. Loki hated truth. Truth created more wounds than lies, and yet humans and Asgardians alike kept succumbing to its enormous power. Perhaps that was why he could sway them so easily. In the end, a silver tongue could bring down any castle built on the sands of trust and honesty.

~o0o~

One morning, or what Loki suspected was near morning as his cell had no natural light and, in fact, very little light at all, Frigga visited him. This was a novelty. Loki was surprised at the brief pain he felt in his chest, the burning behind his eyes. He quickly suppressed the urge to weep and tried to comprehend this strange turn of events. Surely he could not be feeling hurt that she had not come to see him sooner? That was impossible. He had forgotten her long ago. No, he merely had had too little sleep, too much time to brood.

The aged woman approached the invisible barrier of powerful magic and placed a wrinkled hand so gently thereon that Loki thought for a moment the bars must be made of the most delicate glass. She had always been a graceful woman.

Loki turned his back to her.

"Loki. My son." Her voice sounded strained and much more tired than he remembered.

Then her words sunk in and he spun around to face her, gripping the bars so that his knuckles turned white. "I am NOT your son! Do not DARE refer to me as such! You are DEAD to me, you and your miserable husband who calls himself my father! Do you truly not realize how miserable you have made me? How you destroyed my happiness with your poisonous deceptions? How long before you also rend your eldest's heart asunder? How long before your shining golden star, your god of thunder, also recognizes the depth of your betrayal to all that is right? Oh, that I had never been born! That you had left me to die on Jotunheim! Perhaps I could have been happy then. But not now; no, never again. Because soon I will be dead, and I will die knowing that the only people I ever believed truly loved me have lied to me all along!"

Loki's outburst fatigued him and he faded back into the shadows of his cell, watching with sick fascination as Frigga's face crumpled with every icy dagger he had thrust into her heart.

A single silver tear trickled out of the corner of her eye, marring her wrinkled yet beautiful face. She said nothing, but turned and slowly tiptoed away. Loki sank to the floor as his heart suddenly ached within. He was overcome with emotion, and it frightened him. He was usually able to control himself completely. Now he had no explanation for his sudden outburst and flood of guilt and sorrow. He again blamed his lack of sleep and sustenance, but he was beginning to doubt the truth of that. Truth again. He couldn't get away from it. Would it not be easier to just live one lie after another, never needing to concern oneself about digging out the kernels of truth buried in everything? He had long believed it was, but he seemed unable to stop himself from weighing the validity of his thoughts. He was becoming soft; not a constructive train of thought for a man so close to death. It was paramount that he instead contemplate only such things as would prepare him for his execution. He would die regretting nothing, besides his greatest mistake of ever trusting anyone.

Frigga did not return, and Loki noted the fact with disappointment.

~o0o~

Thor came every other day instead of every day, and he spoke less. Perhaps he was finally giving up. Loki was glad of it; he could die in peace knowing everyone would be happy to see him gone. Those seeds of doubt needed to be stripped from the ground before they had chance to take root. This day, though, was different. Loki sensed it immediately by the way Thor approached his cell with painful slowness and would not look Loki in the eye.

"Tomorrow, you are to die, Brother."

The fool insisted on calling him "brother" even now.

"What concern is that of yours, Brother?" He made the word sound like a vulgar insult and was both pleased and pained to see the hurt on Thor's face. "I will be glad to see the sky, however briefly. Rejoice with me, I will be free of this Hell."

Loki smiled mirthlessly, and Thor only looked more heartbroken.

"I love you, Bother, and I will grieve when you are gone. Perhaps you never cared for me, and perhaps you lied your way through childhood,, but I will always remember you as my brother and closest friend."

To Loki's shock and horror, Thor reached through the bars and took one of his little brother's wan, too pale hands.

"Loki, Brother, you are to stand trial tonight. I intend to stand beside you, even if it mean I forfeit the throne. I know you despise me, but I will not accept a refusal from you. You _are _my brother, and if that means _anything _to you, you will allow me this last luxury."

Loki was too stunned to respond. He just stared at his hand, which suddenly looked so small between Thor's powerful hammer-wielding ones. He thought he still had control over Thor, but it appeared reality was quite the opposite. Tricked by truth again.

Thor said no more; he simply squeezed Loki's hand and left.

Loki did not move from his place for a long time. He didn't even hear the All-Father approaching.

"Loki!" Odin's powerful voice boomed through the prison block and made Loki tremble. How could he let himself keep getting caught off guard like this? Tomorrow was his execution, and he again counseled himself to hold onto his pride, his control, his power, until his last breath. He closed his eyes, took a deep breath, and ceased his trembling.

He moved to the center of the cell and stood defiantly facing the All-Father.

"Good afternoon, All-Father," Loki greeted mockingly, hoping he had the time of day right. "What can I do for your Excellence?"

"Silence, my son. Even now, I forbid you to speak to me in this manner. Would you not die a hero? Heroes do not mock the All-Father. Heroes respect and obey him, even if they question his actions."

Loki scoffed. "And what cause, I beg, do I have to respect _you_? You lied to me since the day I was born!"

Odin smiled conspiratorially. It made Loki uncomfortable, not knowing what Odin was thinking. He also immediately realized his mistake; the All-Father had not lied to him since the day he was born, since Odin had not even found the baby Jötunn until his second month of life. Loki, you fool. You still feel captive to the bonds of truth. He determined not to acknowledge this particular mistake.

"Loki, even you, my bright and foolish son, cannot hope to guess all my motives. Thor is content to know he does not know all. It took him years to learn what he does not know, but he did learn. I would that you had learned as well. You could be feasting tonight rather than standing trial in the throne room before all Asgard." His wizened face creased with some pain and much sadness.

Loki laughed, but it sounded more like a strangled moan coming from his dry throat.

"You foolish old man. You would still call yourself my father, after all you have done to me?"

"Indeed, Loki. For you are my son, though the lineage is passed by bond rather than blood. What does it matter that Frigga did not bear you herself? Did she not nurse you at her own breast? Did she not care for you every moment you were ill or suffering? Did she not treat you with the same compassion and care as your older brother? Have I not loved you as long as you have lived in my realm? Your heritage has no meaning for me! I never lied to you when I told you I was your father. I never spoke of your true ancestors because they did not matter to me. When I brought you to Asgard, I brought you into my family. That is all that mattered, and it is all that will ever matter. Do not think I will weep less over your death than I would if it were Thor's. Do not for a moment imagine that I did not grieve every moment you were on Midgard and I witnessed your actions. Every life you took hurt me more than you can possibly imagine. Every family you ripped apart tore my heart to pieces. Why? Because you. Are. My. Son. Everything you do, good or ill, is a reflection of me. I will bring you to justice for your actions, and I will treat you no more gently or harshly than I would had I never met you. I came to you tonight so you would know how much you broke your mother - yes, _your mother_'s - heart, and how much you are still breaking mine."

Until now, Odin's one good eye had been as cold as those of Loki's Jötunn brethren. Now, suddenly, his face fell and his eye filled with tears.

"I do not wish your death. I wish you had trusted me when I told you I loved you. I wish you could see truth where you see only lies."

Loki had backed away from the All-Father until he ran into the back of his cell. His eyes were wide with shock, and he did nothing to hide it. For all his efforts to pretend otherwise, he had suddenly seen the truth. Odin _loved_ him. In spite of everything: every evil deed, every heartless word, nothing he did would make Odin love him less. That scared Loki most of all. He felt his control, his power crumbling away and he desperately tried to get it back. Deep breaths. Focus. He just wants you to feel guilty. Loki could almost convince himself, but for Odin's heartwrenching sobs as he leaned against Loki's cell barrier. Odin had never once cried in Loki's presence. Loki always imagined Odin was too great to cry, but now he realized he was too great NOT to.

Loki sank to his knees, the realization of what he had done washing over him.

"Father..."

Odin took the cell bars in both hands, stilling himself and gathering composure.

"My son. I love you so much."

"Father. I am so sorry. I am so, so sorry. All I wanted was to hurt you the way you hurt me! I believed you to be too powerful to every truly be hurt. I believed I meant nothing to you - you had Thor and Asgard! What could you care for me, a monstrosity you took in out of pity? I thought the only way you would see what you meant to me is if I could undermine your power."

Loki could not believe his ears. Was he saying these things? He almost imagined it was a spell Odin was putting on him, but the more he spoke, the more he realized his words were true. And he also realized the truth was setting him free from the incredible burden he didn't even know he bore. It still might be just malnourishment. He was still going to die. He still had thoughts of using this to his advantage. But then, he stopped and truly considered. What would it hurt him to accept his father's love on his last day alive? In fact, it gave some small comfort.

"Can you possibly forgive me, Father?"

He expected not.

"I already have. But payment must be made for taking the lives of those we were meant to protect."

Odin left.

Loki wept.

~o0o~

The guard who brought him out of the cell seemed afraid that Loki would try to escape. He shouldn't have worried. Loki counted himself dead already, and for all his emotional display earlier, he would still die with his pale head held high. Odin had forgiven him, Odin loved him. That was all he truly wanted from a father, in the end.

The trial was brief, but well-attended. Loki could not help feeling pleased that so many people came to see what became of him.

The judge was a small gray man who had presided over trials on Asgard longer than anyone present, except perhaps Odin, had been alive. He simply walked up to the seat prepared for him on the right hand of the throne and sat down with none of the usual ceremony. People in the crowd that had gathered looked at each other rather confusedly before settling into place to watch the trial. Loki stood next to the throne, on Odin's left, and as promised Thor stood right beside him, like a great statue. Loki was bound and gagged again, and again he admired the wisdom of the Asgardians for not believing Loki's silver tongue tamed by prison. The judge pulled out a great scroll and read from it in a dry monotone.

"Men and women, warriors and citizens, children and elders of Asgard: We gather here today to decide the fate of one of our own. The outcome of this trial will decide not only those crimes for which the accused will be held accountable, but also the punishment he shall endure for those crimes. The accused is Loki Odinson. Will the accused step forward."

Loki winced at the use of his family name. He neither wanted nor deserved it. He stepped forward. Thor stepped with him, and the crowd murmured.

"The accuser is Odin All-Father. Will the accuser please step forward."

Odin rose majestically from the throne and joined Thor and Loki.

"The accuser has accused Loki Odinson of the following crimes:

Treason of the first degree

Fraternizing with the Enemy

Murder of 522 Midgardians

Unauthorized use of Asgardian power on those the accused was sworn to protect

Attempted murder of 5 Asgardians, including Odin All-Father himself.

Does the accuser have anything to add?"

Odin shook his head. To Loki, he looked as though he bore the weight of all Asgard a hundred times over. Thor put his hand on Loki's shoulder. Loki still could not understand why Thor was so determined to do this with him. He was losing so much face in front of his people, his subjects, for standing with the accused. It was almost laughable.

"Does the accused have any arguments with the accusations?"

Loki couldn't help smiling sardonically. It was thoughtful of them to ask the muzzled man if he disagreed with his death sentence. Again, to Loki's surprise, Thor spoke up. "Yes, he does. The accused would like to claim he is not guilty for the attempted murder of the Asgardians. In fact, his actions saved the All-Father's life and, subsequently, many other lives as well."

The crowd shifted uncomfortably at this, but Odin nodded approvingly.

The little gray man barely raised an eyebrow.

"Good. What proof has the accused of this?"

Odin stepped farther forward.

"I myself will vouch for the innocence of the accused on this count."

Loki was using every ounce of energy to rein in his emotion. This was not how the trial was supposed to go. It was humiliating.

The judge knew better than to question the All-Father's ruling.

"The final charge will not stand against the accused. Are there any further objections?"

No one spoke.

"The All-Father will now pronounce his verdict."

Odin took a deep, halting breath before proceeding.

"The charge on these crimes is death. The murder of Midgardians is the highest of offenses, and this will be no exception. Justice must be done for crimes such as these, and blood must atone for blood. Judgment will be exacted at sunrise."

Loki felt his knees go limp as the truth of the situation began to sink in. He was going to die. Very soon. He was suddenly very weak, and though he was humiliated when Thor put a steadying arm around him, he was less humiliated than he would have been if he had collapsed in front of everyone.

Thor insisted that the guards leave them and he escorted Loki to his cell himself.

"I promised I would not leave you, Brother, and I will not."

Loki was too numb to care. He did not sleep, and neither did Thor, but neither did they speak. No words could help ease either heart now. Odin also came, but though he embraced both his sons, he seemed distant and sad. "Loki, I will always love you, and I have forgiven you a thousand times."

"I know, Father."

"I must retire to my room for tonight. I am sorry I cannot remain with you. Thor will stay."

Loki just nodded, still numb.

~o0o~

Morning came all too quickly. Thor and Loki walked together to the central plaza. A great crowd was already gathered. Loki found himself leaning on his brother more heavily the closer they got. He had faced death before, but always in the heat of battle. It had never held this same dreadful inevitability. Thor was weeping silently, but Loki was still too stunned to feel anything but numbness and a sick dread.

Odin was standing in the executioner's circle. That meant only one thing: he intended to perform the execution with his own hand. Loki was briefly horrified, but he realized his father would have it no other way. The moment Loki entered the circle, Frigga joined Thor and they embraced. Loki took a deep breath and stood beside Odin. Odin looked so deeply sad, it almost made Loki weep.

Executions were swift and without ceremony. The executioner simply summoned the power of Asgardian magic and snuffed out the life of the accused. Loki knew his father had more than enough power to make the execution quick and painless, and it eased his fear slightly.

"Loki, my son. Today, your crimes will all be paid for, and every wrong will be forgiven. Your name will be wiped clean in Asgard's history."

Loki closed his eyes briefly.

"I love you, my son," Odin whispered.

Odin lifted his hand, but instead of laying it on Loki's head, as the custom demanded, the little gray man from the trial came and took the All-Father's hand.

The judge placed his other hand on Odin's head.

Everyone gasped in horror.

Odin fell to his knees and whispered, somehow loud enough for all to hear, "My beloved son, every wrong you have ever done is forgiven and paid for by my blood. Take care of your mother and brother, Loki Odinson."

The All-Father's eyes closed and he breathed his last.

No one moved.

Loki began to weep and collapsed beside his immortal dead father. "Father, Father. Why? I deserved to die! I should be the one to pay for my crimes! No, All-Father, please.".

His heart had never felt so broken.

Thor was suddenly beside him, embracing him and also weeping. He also saw his mother draw near, weeping but remarkably composed. She smiled at Loki.

"My dear, sweet Loki. Your father always knew this day would come. From the moment he brought you into our family, he decided he would be the one to atone for the crimes of you and your people. He loved you too much to condemn you. I hope you never forget the magnitude of his sacrifice."

He stared at her.

Thor whispered, "The All-Father always has a purpose, even if we do not understand."

It was something Loki had heard a thousand times, but for some reason this time he finally understood it.

A great peace settled over him, something he had never felt before in his life. He realized then that even before he knew his true identity, he had always questioned his family's love. Thor was always the special older brother, and Loki always felt inadequate. Now, he felt inadequate again, but this time because he knew he did not even remotely deserve the immensity of the love of his parents and brother.

He also knew he would never come close to deserving his father's sacrifice, but he was going to do everything within his power to try.

Frigga, Thor, and Loki came together in a powerful embrace, a family forever joined by the bond of Unconditional Love.

No one was watching when the All-Father's face creased into a soft, almost imperceptible smile


End file.
